


Calm, at Peace, Happy

by suckerfordeansfreckles



Series: Short Destiel Drabbles [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Best Friends, Circus, Drinking, Fire Twirler Castiel, First Kiss, Flirting, Getting Together, Human Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Matching soulmarks, Soulmarks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 01:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18511132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckerfordeansfreckles/pseuds/suckerfordeansfreckles
Summary: In a world of color and noise and constant action, Dean often has a hard time grasping just how much calm and ease Cas brings into his life. It shouldn’t be this easy, really, not with how stressful Dean’s life has been ever since he joined the circus two years ago.But since the very first day, since the very first time Dean got to watch Cas perform in the ring, this has been his happy place. The only time he gets to calm down, except maybe for the few hours of sleep he gets every night.It’s been two years, and Dean is still not over it. Will never get over it, probably.





	Calm, at Peace, Happy

**Author's Note:**

> Asdnasjkd it's been days since I wanted to to crosspost this from Tumblr and I finally found time - I hope you enjoy this.
> 
> It's a prompt fill for: Soulmate AU & Circus AU.

In a world of color and noise and constant action, Dean often has a hard time grasping just how much calm and ease Cas brings into his life. It shouldn’t be this easy, really, not with how stressful Dean’s life has been ever since he joined the circus two years ago.

 

But since the very first day, since the very first time Dean got to watch Cas perform in the ring, this has been his happy place. The only time he gets to calm down, except maybe for the few hours of sleep he gets every night.

 

It’s been two years, and Dean is still not over it. Will never get over it, probably.

 

Over Cas, wearing nothing but shoes and low-seated baggy pants that barely cover his knees. How his body is glistening with sweat, hair in absolute disarray, sticking up absolutely everywhere. How he looks so controlled, relaxed even, while twirling rings of fire around his body like he has been doing it for all his life. Like the fire is a part of him, just an extension of his arms, unable to ever hurt him.

 

It looks no less powerful and captivating without the fire, when it’s just Cas practicing late at night, twirling wooden sticks around himself faster than lightning. Even now, drunk and stumbling over his own feet a little, face flushed red and a wide grin on his face, he looks nothing but gorgeous. 

 

It’s even worse when they are like this, all alone in the manege, laughing and drinking and getting high on each other’s company - in moments like that, Dean can barely hold it back. The words, the feelings, the confessions. The touching. God, it’s so hard to not just get up from where he’s planted his ass on the dusty floor and walk over, reach out and touch Cas. Pull him in, close against Dean’s body. Close enough to maybe try and steal a kiss. 

 

Cas tries to teach Dean, sometimes - without setting his sticks or rings on fire, of course. And, damn, Dean is thankful for that. He’d have ended up roasting himself even while not drunk on rum and Cas’ rumbling laugh.

 

Tonight, though, he’s content to just watch until Cas is too tired to keep twirling and turning. Until Cas drops his sticks and sinks down to the floor next to Dean, laughing breathlessly.

 

And Dean can just stare, mesmerized and a little in love. 

 

Cas nudges Dean’s side with his elbow, then, pulls him out of his stupor and makes him blush like crazy. He tries to recover, to distract from the lovelorn looks by raising their bottle of rum and offering it to Cas. 

 

Cas takes a swig, throat bobbing as he swallows, and Dean shifts as inconspicuously as possible - until his hands can at least cover parts of his lap.

 

Cas sinks down next to Dean, until he’s lying on the floor with his arms beneath his head. His cheeks are flushed from exertion and alcohol, and his smile is soft and genuine. “We never talked,” he says, turning to watch Dean. “About why we came here.”

 

“Yeah, it’s… I’m assuming your story isn’t much happier than mine,” Dean murmurs, and then he lies down next to Cas, staring up to the ceiling of the tent.

 

“We never… never talked about life outside of here, either,” Cas says, and there’s a weird tone to his voice. “I don’t even know if you have family.”

 

Dean laughs, bitter and dull. “Yeah, not much to tell. I have a brother, we talk sometimes. He’s a genius, studies law at Stanford and all. Met his soulmate at nineteen, they are planning their wedding.”

 

“That’s - that’s nice,” Cas says, and he sounds so carefully neutral that Dean turns over to watch him. “What about you? Have you met your soulmate?”

 

Dean laughs again, this time less bitter. He’s made his peace with this years ago. “No. No, don’t really think I ever will.”

 

Cas hums, nods. “Same. But sometimes I wish, you know?” His eyes are full of longing, something desperate and strong. Like he thinks about this a lot more than he admits.

 

“Yeah, me - me too. Would be nice, to find that  _ one  _ person apparently made for me.”

 

Cas doesn’t respond, just lets his eyes trace over Dean’s face. Dean isn’t sure how things turned so somber and serious so quick, but he can’t say he minds. He loves deeper conversations with Cas just as much as he loves light, laughter-filled nonsense.

 

“Do you still look for your soulmate?” Dean asks, curious but hoping, deep down, that maybe Cas has given up as well. That maybe Cas would give someone like Dean a chance, someone not perfect at all. Someone ordinary, someone just head over heels for all Cas is. 

 

Cas hums again, a soft smile on his face. “I tell myself not to. It’s not like I’m waiting to meet them, I know how slim my chances are. But sometimes - sometimes I meet someone, and I hope.” 

 

The way he’s looking at Dean, gentle but meaningful, has him breathless with questions he wants to ask.

 

“Do you, um. Do you wonder, sometimes, about... my soulmark?” he asks, and he’s gonna blame the rum for all that courage, even though he feels more sober than before they even started drinking.

 

“Yes,” Cas says, quiet and breathless, and then he sits up and his hands come down to the seam of his pants around his knees. “Do you want to know - about mine?”

 

Dean barely has time to think about it before he nods, frantic and with a racing heart. 

 

And then Cas pulls his pant leg up until it reaches mid-thigh, until there’s nothing left covering the soft skin of his inner thigh. Dean can look at all the tan skin unashamedly, just take in soft hair and thigh, just until he notices that it is covered by - a phoenix, soaring through the air, flames of fire dancing beneath his wings. 

 

He’s beautiful, delicate lines and vibrant colors and - so, so familiar. The hours Dean has spent staring at the same phoenix, on his own freckled thigh. 

 

He jerks forward, hand reaching out to touch, before he catches himself seconds before coming into contact with Cas’ skin. He can’t breathe, can’t think, doesn’t realize he’s murmuring: “God, I didn’t - I never thought.  _ You _ .” until Cas cautious expression morphs, widens into a dazed grin.

 

“Does that mean…?” Cas starts, but Dean interrupts him by reaching for his jeans.

 

His fingers fumble a little with his belt, but he manages to get it open surprisingly fast, and then he just shoves his pants down his legs as fast as possible while half-lying, half-sitting on the floor. 

 

Cas watches him with a toothy smile, until Dean’s pants reveal the matching soulmark on his own thigh. And then Cas is up from where he was stretched out on the floor, and crashing into Dean. 

 

Dean’s breath catches, head knocking against the dusty floor thanks to Cas’ enthusiasm, but then Cas straddles his knees and his fingers, rough and warm and gentle, brush over Dean’s skin - and Dean breaks out in goosebumps. Cas laughs, something choked and excited, and Dean’s heart stumbles in his chest.

 

“Cas,” he says, and he has no idea where he’s going with this until the words tumble out of his mouth. “Cas, kiss me.  _ Please _ .”

 

And Cas does, just falls down onto him until their lips collide, and with them, Dean’s entire world seems to shake apart around him. He’s not sure whether he’s imagining the zings of electricity between them or if it’s just part of the bond, forming stronger between them - but he can’t say he cares much. All he can think about is the softness of Cas’ lips, the sure, strong grip of his hands on Dean’s upper arms, the weight of his body pressing Dean to the floor.

 

With just a brush of Cas’ lips, the way his tongue slips out against Dean’s lips, Dean feels wrapped in a cloud again.

 

Calm. At peace. Happy.

**Author's Note:**

> There's a rebloggable version of this on [Tumblr](https://suckerfordeansfreckles.tumblr.com/post/184232991409/hi-anna-congrats-on-approaching-1k-followers) :')
> 
> [THERE IS GORGEOUS AWESOME ART FOR THIS STORY](http://casbeanwrites.tumblr.com/post/184234494868/a-silly-little-doodle-i-made-for) !!!! You can look at Cas twirling some fire and also Dean drooling :‘‘) CHECK IT OUT


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